Perempuan

Pandai sangat orang takut.
Pandai sangat depa kata last sekali masuk dapoq jugak.
Kurang pandai orang mengata, orang tak mau, kata tak pandai.

Lawa sangat orang put high expectation.
Partner kena handsome jugak.
Kecik kena lawa, teenager kena lawa, kawin kena lawa, jadi mak pun kena lawa lagi, sampai tua pun kena lawa.

Kawin awai orang kata gatai.
Kawin lambat orang kata tak laku, andartu.

Kawin dengan lelaki dari social status bawahan sikit depa kata tak pandai cari, cari yang tak sekufu.
Kawin dengan lelaki kaya depa kata pisau cukur.

Kawin dengan lelaki muda depa kata awat cari yang muda, lelaki lambat mature.
Kawin dengan lelaki tua depa kata awat tak dak hat lain dah ka.
Kawin dengan bangsa lain depa tanya habih dah ka Melayu kita ni.

Tak beranak orang kata tak boleh beranak (eventho medically bukan salah dia).
Beranak satu orang kata sikit.
Beranak dua orang kata tak cukup.
Beranak tiga orang kata boleh lagi tu.
Beranak empat lima enam tujuh orang kata subur sangat lah pulak.
Tambah pulak yg mengata ntah pandai ajaq anak ntah tidak sebab ramai sangat anak satgi tak boleh focus.
Beranak semua anak lelaki pun tak kena.
Beranak semua anak perempuan pun tak kena.
Beranak dekat2 depa kata tak pandai jarak.
Beranak jarak2 depa kata nak tunggu apa lagi bukan dok koi muda.

Jaga suami macam raja depa kata anak satgi terabai.
Jaga anak macam raja depa kata satgi suami terabai.
Tak pandai masak depa kata key to husband's heart is thru the tummy.

Tak pregnant depa tanya bila nak pregnant.
Tengah pregnant depa kata awat tak beranak2 lagi.
Pregnant 6 bulan depa kata ish mak tu besaq mcm dah pregnant 9 bulan.
Kembang 10 bulan, nak suruh kurus balik dalam masa 6 minggu.
Kalau mak tu tak kurus after 6 minggu kata tak pantang betul, tak jaga elok2, tak jaga makan etc.

Gemuk depa kata gemuk.
Kuruih depa kata kuruih sangat, tak elok.

Everything is about what?
Takut husband lari ka apa ni? Nak kena ikut one way of living saja ka macam mana ni?
Nak kena ikut satu standard dia ja yang betul?
A woman is wayy wayy stronger than that. Wayyy wayyy wiser than that.

You are doing your best.

You are giving only the best.

You lah mak, you lah isteri, you lah anak, you lah adik, you lah kakak, you lah menantu, you lah ipar. You are being you. You are doing you.

What is sooo wrong with that?

Berhenti menghukum.

Stop the judgements.

Kasihanilah wanita.
ALLAH letak perempuan itu tinggi.
Agama dah betul.
Adat yang salah.

My last words.
Amboi amboi amboi diaaaaa....🙂

Story of 3 in The Morning

Oh well.

Now im a mom of three.

Now how did that happen? 😅😅

They say parents live in the world of sleepless night.

That is soooo true, at least until your baby sleeps through the night.

And that differs from one baby to another.

Yunus is 2 months now.

He wakes up oh well..2 to 3 times everynight and i am soooo thankful for that.

I meannnn, some other babies wake up like what, every hour, every 2 or 3 hours..so yup, thanks Yunus, u r doing fine! 😘

So here i am at 3 in the morning, blogging my heart out, while waiting for Yunus to fall asleep again, on my lap.

Minimal contact is the key. But u know, rules can only be read and understand when it comes to babies. They do them.

Sometimes Yunus wakes up and drinks and off to bed back sooo easily. At times, he would want to converse and play and smile a lil bit before he is off to bed again.

So..its true they say, babies rule your world. Their rules.

I love u baby boy.

Thanks for choosing me as your mama.

Im still trying my very best here. Always thought that im no cut to be a mom and yet here i am, 3 kids within 5 years of marriage and counting?? 🤣

Grow well my love. Grow healthily, smart, kind, with big heart and oh well, be a doctor Babah says!

Love,

Mama.

Framed Them Mother's Day 2019

Last 12th May was the Mother's Day Celebration at kids' school.
So for the first time, Yusuf and Fatimah made the lovely cards for me!
And yeahhhhh, of course I framed them.
Thank you to to Miss Su, Miss Najwa, Miss Fara and Miss Wani.

Love,
Mama.

They Say No Matter What You Do, You Get Tired.

I'm a mother of two toddlers.
3-yo Yusuf and 2-yo Fatimah.
Alhamdulillah.
Life has been erm...challenging.
Full with unexpected things.
Good memories. Bitter memories. But Alhamdulillah.
They say the days are long but the years are short.

Well.It's true they say no matter what you do, you get tired.
Yup true indeed. No matter what I do, I get tired.
I face that. I face that now.
I'm tired. But I still stand.
I'm tired. But I still go.
I'm tired. But I still do.
I'm tired. But I still show.
I'm tired. But I still read.
I'm tired. But I still sing.
I'm tired. But I still dance.
I'm tired. But I still feed.
I'm tired. But I keep my patience.
I'm tired. But I still act.
I'm tired. I'm just tired.
But I'm still very much alive.
At times.I lose control.Yes.And I regret that every single time.

Toddlers. They need you. ALL THE TIME.
Leaving them without supervision? Bad idea. The brother may hit the sister, intentionally or unintentionally. The sister may fall from the push car while playing alone.
So nope. You cannot leave them behind. You stay there, supervise them, be with them.
Now I know how moms run to the toilet, run to the kitchen, run out for the dry laundry. How moms run. How moms eat. They stop walking. They fly.

For all the hospital nights. I love my kids.
For all the cries and screams. I love my kids.
For the nights I sleep in pukes. I love my kids.
Never a day that I forget to pray for my kids' well beings, for their health.
But then again, Allah knows what is best.

Read it somewhere.
Don't ask why Allah lets it happen.
Ask what can you learn from it.

Ya Allah. Show me. Make me see. Make me see clearly.
Ya Allah. Make me listen. Make me listen sharply.
Ya Allah. Make me feel. Make me feel deeply.
Ya Allah. Please. Take away all the sickness.
Let patience be with me. Be with me all the time.
Sabar.

Bathe them. Dry them. Clothe them. Comb them. Prepare them food. Feed them food. Make them milk. Wash the bottles. Play with them. Sing with them. Read to them. Teach them. Dance with them. Draw with them. Color with them. Kick balls with them. Wash their poops. Change their diapers. Fill up their water bottles. Change their wet clothes. Change their dirty clothes. Wipe the pukes. Wash the pukes. Wipe the wets. Wash the clothes. Dry the clothes. Iron the clothes. Pack the school bags. Unpack the school bags. Not to miss the medication (during sick times). Drive them. Pick them. Ask them. Treat them good. Repeat.

I love you two my love Yusuf and Fatimah. Mama pray that you two grow well, with good hearts, healthy, happy, geniuses, handsome and pretty, rich and generous and for us all to have good lives in dunya and akhirah. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. Tonight, I have kissed you two goodnight. We have said prayers to Allah together.

Ya Allah. Sihatkanlah anak-anakku, Yusuf dan Fatimah.

Love,
Mama.

The Unprepared Me

So I was supposed to have my ferritin test at the KK yesterday. But due to job commitment, I called in and rescheduled that to today, 9 aug 2017.

u know i really have to be ready for every appointment so i dnt go crazy and have a scene.or scenes. (extremely scared of doctors and nurses and needles and injections and everything).

drove myslf to KK knowing that,that kind indian nurse will withdraw my blood and i'll look away like 180 degrees head turning away from the nurse (and the needle of course). howeverrrrrrrr, another nurse at counter 2 told me (on the spot) that doctor wants to see me today. not 29th as scheduled. today. today.

so my mind goes crazy again thinking of all the negative things and my heart started to beat soooo fast. thats an unfair statement when u told me u gonna see me on 29th and now u tell me u wanna see me today? like, today??? cr cr cr craazzaaay scared. im nt ready.my mind is not ready.my body. my heart.my everything. we r not readyyyy doctor.

then my number was called 105 to the blood room.as usual, pull up my sleeve and head turns south. the nurse noticed that i ws wayyy to scared today that she had to distract me by shouting my names twice just to ensure that i was really there in frnt of her. she knew im always that scared little cat but today.today is different.

she distracted me again by asking where did i go for honeymoon..why we didnt go to one..once we have kid/kids we wont be having the opportunity​ anymore..bla bla bla..my husband gotta work..no more leaves to apply bla bla bla..

and done.we were done with the blood withdrawal.and...off to weighing and blood pressure counter.counter 1. this one nurse slipped her tongue and said "okay..lepas ni pi ambik darah...". i said. no no no. "dah ambik dah tadi..please..jangan lagi...".

the nurse laughed.corrected herself that she meant for me to have my urine test next.gosh.not funny.im gonna definitely turn into a on-the-spot-lawyer if u really ask me for another blood withdrawal.

and now.im still waiting for my turn to see the doctor. (with very dry hands and fast beating heart.)

why does no one (from the clinic,from any clinic apparently) has ever say good thing about my pregnancy?

all this all that..too heavy too anemic too sugary too bla bla bla too everything.

dear baby in tummy.mama love u too mch that im going thru all this and listen none to those negative sayings of them.i mean...i listened.but i still eat.i take my pills and i talk to u everyday. be a good baby and eat well inside me okay.

see u in few more months and i love u!

xxmama

Hanya

ada pada sabar.
nasib.
belas yg kupinta.

Distance

learn to appreciate presence.
cause absence is miserable.
its been nearly a month.
come back fast.
we are growing.
love you.
xxwife