Wednesday, August 9, 2017

The Unprepared Me

So I was supposed to have my ferritin test at the KK yesterday. But due to job commitment, I called in and rescheduled that to today, 9 aug 2017.

u know i really have to be ready for every appointment so i dnt go crazy and have a scene.or scenes. (extremely scared of doctors and nurses and needles and injections and everything).

drove myslf to KK knowing that,that kind indian nurse will withdraw my blood and i'll look away like 180 degrees head turning away from the nurse (and the needle of course). howeverrrrrrrr, another nurse at counter 2 told me (on the spot) that doctor wants to see me today. not 29th as scheduled. today. today.

so my mind goes crazy again thinking of all the negative things and my heart started to beat soooo fast. thats an unfair statement when u told me u gonna see me on 29th and now u tell me u wanna see me today? like, today??? cr cr cr craazzaaay scared. im nt ready.my mind is not ready.my body. my heart.my everything. we r not readyyyy doctor.

then my number was called 105 to the blood room.as usual, pull up my sleeve and head turns south. the nurse noticed that i ws wayyy to scared today that she had to distract me by shouting my names twice just to ensure that i was really there in frnt of her. she knew im always that scared little cat but today.today is different.

she distracted me again by asking where did i go for honeymoon..why we didnt go to one..once we have kid/kids we wont be having the opportunity​ anymore..bla bla bla..my husband gotta work..no more leaves to apply bla bla bla..

and done.we were done with the blood withdrawal.and...off to weighing and blood pressure counter.counter 1. this one nurse slipped her tongue and said "okay..lepas ni pi ambik darah...". i said. no no no. "dah ambik dah tadi..please..jangan lagi...".

the nurse laughed.corrected herself that she meant for me to have my urine test next.gosh.not funny.im gonna definitely turn into a on-the-spot-lawyer if u really ask me for another blood withdrawal.

and now.im still waiting for my turn to see the doctor. (with very dry hands and fast beating heart.)

why does no one (from the clinic,from any clinic apparently) has ever say good thing about my pregnancy?

all this all that..too heavy too anemic too sugary too bla bla bla too everything.

dear baby in tummy.mama love u too mch that im going thru all this and listen none to those negative sayings of them.i mean...i listened.but i still eat.i take my pills and i talk to u everyday. be a good baby and eat well inside me okay.

see u in few more months and i love u!

xxmama

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Hanya

ada pada sabar.
nasib.
belas yg kupinta.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Distance

learn to appreciate presence.
cause absence is miserable.
its been nearly a month.
come back fast.
we are growing.
love you.
xxwife

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Till We Meet Again Syg

Thank you to my Syg.
Thank you to my family.
They surprised me with a belated birthday party last night at Puchong home.
All, I mean all of them were at the party.
(except my mama n ba - AOR).

im sorry i ws quite blur in the beginning.LOL.
we had koayteow,nasi goreng,satay,icecream,soya and chrysanthemum.
and....choccheese cake of course!

i know it wasnt easy for u Syg, being far and coordinate this altogether.
appreciate your homecoming so mch.
thank u for everything.
thank u everyone.

till i see u again Syg.take care.
saying goodbye has nvr been easy.
We miss u already.
Love,Syg.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Your Thoughts.Yours.

When you thought u could have more..
Allah pinjamkan sikit ja.
Allah pinjamkan sat ja.
Sebab that's what enough is.
Sharing is not my bestest attribute.
Never has been.
Sampai bila? Allah saja yg tahu.
xxkin

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

I turn 28 today

blogging this on the train on my way bck towards Putra Heights.
while reading that book i read, i stopped.
and closed my eyes..
teary eyes..
sad.
emotional.
its my 28th bday today.
i keep telling myself that im strong.
eventhough i dnt wnt to be.
im tired of being one.
remind yourself.
when Allah tells u that u r strong,oh well,you definitely are!
rezeki masing2 lain.
tgk apa dpn mata.tgk diri sendiri!
Alhamdulillah..
xxkin

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Wish You Were Here

imagine dragon and aerosmith helped me tonight.
#not today.
#i dont wanna miss a thing.
i miss u syg.
wish u were here.
:(
everything is nicer when ur around.

love,
syg.